Finger Licking Good

I have for years wanted to secretly tape people eating buffalo wings, and start a web site called "people of buffalo wings", or some other clever title. Why? Because its hilarious!

Seriously next time you go to a wing place, just people watch for a while. There are so many types. 

Some shove the entire wing in their mouth and gnaw off all the meat and sauce in one stealth move. I envy those people. 

Don't confuse these people with those who suck on the bone, the stealth wing eaters know when to call it quits and move on to the next. The bone suckers will have the bone so clean you could make a necklace out of it. It's also accompanied by smacking of the lips and a lot of grunting. 

Some take delicate little bites as to not make a mess of their face and hands. News flash, when your eating sauces laden food you eat with your hands, it's unavoidable. Suck it up, and get a little messy. 

There are the people like me, who have a slight overbite and I can't eat wings "normal". I have to use a fork, or my fingers to get the meat off the bone. It's ridiculous, but my love of chicken wings, spicy garlic to be exact, is stronger than my self consciousness of my caveman approach to wing deliciousness in my belly. 

I have a bad habit of wiping my hands/face after each bite and go through about 6 napkins. The freedom eaters could care less and enjoy the sauce all over and wait until they are all done to wipe up. 

I have to say, the little wet naps they provide really don't do too much except make your hands feel weird. I wash my hands before I eat and again after. I'm that weird obsessive compulsive hand washer person. 

Anyway you eat a wing is correct, because unless I am mistaken there are no etiquette guides on chicken wings? But it's still hilarious to watch people eat them. I only noticed this because someone told me they have never seen anyone eat wings the way I do, and then I had to check out the competition. 

Speaking of which I did that competition at a local joint where you have to eat 6 super hot wings in 5 minutes. I did it, and will never do it again. my mouth was on fire for two days. I like my sauces medium or below, thankyouverymuch. 

Lickety Split

Not only does the term "lickety split" confuse me, it's also just weird. Telling someone you'll be there "lickety split" is a phrase that we say but have no idea what we are saying. How fast exactly IS lickety? Is there a sound barrier that is broken? Is it faster than the speed of light or sound? I am befuddled.

And this phrase wasn't even what my intention was to blog about. But I thought it was a clever title for what I was originally going to write and then I go off in an entirely different direction.

Licking. I was going to talk about licking. By now, you are wondering to yourself just exactly what direction that is heading. Well hold yourself together this is a PG-13 post. When I say licking I mean as in a ice cream cone, sucker or other frozen treat that we use our tongue as tools. 

The fact we lick ice cream comes, or Popsicles cracks me up. Could you imagine eating anything else that way? "Oh thanks for the steak, I'll have this licked clean in no time". I can just imagine a fancy restaurant and all the patrons licking their food. No utensils required. Soup would be my favorite one to watch. Unless it was clam chowder. 

And some people, myself included are biters. I love to bite my ice cream, I love the way the cold feels on my teeth. I have found that a lot of people are very sensitive to this and not a lot of people bite. It's a good thing how we eat ice cream and Popsicles is not how we are introduced to others "this is Ronnie, she's a biter". 

I told you this was PG-13, so get your minds out of the gutters!